I. Hate. Winter.
Let me make that as clear as possible.
I feel like an asshole this time of year for living in New Jersey.
HOWEVER...I am in search of some sort of athletic outlet now that I'm in shape for the first time since about '01, and wifey LOVES her some snow and whatnot, so I find myself compromising and attempting shit on the odd white stuff people call "snow". Really I do it just so I have an excuse to buy obnoxiously bright snow gear.
I've tried skiis...they're an illogical snoozefest. The physics just don't make sense to me. I've snowboarded a couple of times...much more fun, but when that shit goes wrong, it goes really wrong, and I think I still have spine fragments in one of them orange safety fences someplace. My girl rocks these shits called ski boards (I think she made them in her garage because no one else has ever heard of them). They're very short, super wide skiis. I'm gonna try those on Saturday, so if there's no new jams posted here by Monday afternoon, it's because I am The Dead.
But did you see that video? That's what I'm screamin'. I need a ski bike! It's like winter BMX, only 5 times as stupid and unsafe. I can't image how that thing stops without my ass providing the main source of friction. Fantastic. If I can find a place to rent one of them bad boys, I will be sure to do it and kill myself in the process. Good times.