Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The REAL Reasons Why LA Will Lose...


The music world has decided to do nothing for me today...
so let's talk a little bit of the ol' shit, shall we?

I can't believe I'm saying this, but do you see those men above.  They are the true reasons why my New York Red Bulls are going to get what everyone strives for when they take a trip to Los Angeles: deep penetration (especially Dane!  Hi-yooooooooo!!!!).

"78 DPs in one game, blah, blah, blah" - Media dude
"Henry is hurt, blah, blah blah" - BigSoccer Guy
"LA Galaxy invented the concept of competitive athletics and Jesus wears a Buddle shirt" - You

All that is dandy, but people seem to be forgetting one amazingly obvious point about this matchup:  Our wingers are actually functional.  Dane Richards has been (by a TREMENDOUSLY wide margin) the best player in a poison soda shirt for the past 6 weeks or so.  Joel Lindpere  is literally made of spare steam engine parts and has the work rate of a Big Daddy Kane backup dancer.  Who's going to be lining up against them?  The half rotten corpse of a one-legged gimp formerly known as David Beckham, and the suddenly re-Caked Landon Donovan who ain't been right since Bianca came back home and put that thang on him.

No contest.

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