A Message to Today's "Cool" Kids

Tyga "AIM" from Decaydance TSM on Vimeo.

Dear Youth of America,

This might just be me getting old...but you kids have lost your collective mind. I'm very concerned about all of you. Have you seen the above video?! This is what you guys are down with these days. Are NONE OF YOU concerned with the fact that this Tyga fellow is nothing more than a walking, talking commercial? He doesn't even hide it well! I will bet you your lunch money that right now, Tyga is on his way to the bank with checks from Karmaloop, Wet Seal and AOL in his pocket. What happened to teen rebellion? Where's the outrage? DAMN! It's not even like Tyga is some sort of rare exception. Katy Perry tricked you into buying cherry Chap-Stick, and Chris Brown suckered you into paying 99 cents a pop for subliminal Double Mint Gum ads (but I hold Wrigley's stock, so I appreciate the help. This recession is a bitch).
What's the deal? Is it because of the internet? Are you so used to being bombarded with ads that you just don't notice (or care) anymore? You know what . . . this is Emo's fault. The emo rubber band finally snapped last year, and this candy-coated stuff is the result.
Kids, I'm begging you to fight back. Take notes from your older brothers and sisters. You know . . .those 25-30 year olds that you pretend to mock, but you're really trying your hardest to emulate (Don't front. You're 16, what the hell do you know about pashmina scarves and plastic Ray-Bans?). They've COMPLETELY rejected mass media. It's like they're on another planet. Everyone does they're own thing. No one owns anything with a label on it.
Listen . . .if you kids are going to be suckers for marketing, at least do it the way we old people do it. We create new things, pretend they're "underground" and then completely ignore the fact that 10 million other people actually have the exact same tastes, interests and opinions as we do. It's a pleasant way to live. You kids don't even bother lying to yourselves. You just go straight into the lemming line at the edge of the cliff . . .with a huge, Facebook sponsored smile on your faces. C'moooooooon! Live the lie!

Yours in earnest,
- FF&SS