Wednesday, March 31, 2010
FF&SS Investment Corner: Stock Advice for the Soccer Fan
Economic times are tough in 2010. It's time to start planning for your future.
We (me) here at FF&SS Financial think we have a perfect opportunity:
With the announcement that the 2010 MLS Cup Final will be held in Toronto, a few prime investment opportunities have sprung up. Namely...pepper spray, rubber bullets and kevlar. Given the general filth of the local population, it's safe to assume that the Toronto PD will have their hands full that weekend. Add the increased frustration the locals will have, given that they are hosting a championship event while they're insufferable failure of a club sits at the bottom of the table, and tensions in The 'Ronto will be high.
There is, however, a tempting investment to avoid: military supply companies. It may seem tempting, considering that guaranteed riots that will occur, but remember...it's well-documented that Canada has no army. All that remains is their air force, and Jacques, the flying squirrel with a slingshot, is booked to appear at the opening of a Tim Horton's in Winnipeg...so that's out.
Follow these steps and you can cash in on the utter mayhem and destruction caused by the scum of resident Toronto FC fans. Happy investing!