FAUX FUR FAIRY TALE: The Strokes

There was once a mighty beast named Voltron who patrolled the streets of New York City, and kept its young people safe from the evil forces of pop radio and boring, American whiskey-rock.  The Voltron Force comprised of 5 lions who came together to form one of the greatest heroes NYC had ever known.  Then, very suddenly...the City grew dark, and the skies went quiet.  Voltron was nowhere to be found.  In time, NY came alive again, but it wasn't the same.  Chain-smoking, "ironic" trust-funders from The Village became neon-highlighted electronic marauders from Brooklyn.  Just when the City needed Voltron the most...word spread of their return...

Only this time, the Voltron Force didn't arrive as one, but as 5 individuals . . .and they sucked.
The end.