Breakfast Jams

After certain happenings this weekend, I am fully against the use of anything containing taurine. Instead, I offer an alternative. Sprinkle summa this good George McCrae funk on your Corn Flakes this morning, and you'll be good to go for the rest of the day.

Warning: There are possible side effects. Consumption of too much funk when your natural funk levels are low can result in spontaneous outbreaks like this. Use wisely.