Dear DaMarcus...

 Hey.  How's it goin'?
I figured since we're friends and all, I could send you this message and be all candid and such.

I see lately you've been inserting feet into various Scottish asses with Rangers.  While part of me, the country-first "Go USA" side, is delighted by the prospects of you finding your form again . . .the growing and increasingly selfish, petty and desperate club-first side of me is kinda pissed that you're destroying my master plan.

C'mon, SON!!

It was bad enough when you were contributing off the bench...THEN you were getting starts...NOW, you're getting assists and scoring?!  Word?  You're killing me.  Seriously.

"New York" is desperate for a left winger, and I thought since we were peoples, you could help a blogger out...but I see how it is.  It's cool.  I didn't want to go to the playoffs anyway.  Too cold around here that time of year.  Whatever.

Thanks for Nothin',
 - Faux Fur & Soccer Shirts