F**K Off, David Beckham

American soccer fans are a sad bunch.
We're like the popular kid that moves to a new school and has his social status drop to the bottom of the totem pole. Prom King in another town. Here . . . swirlies. It's that condition, and David Beckham's full knowledge of it, that makes his desire to move full-time to AC Milan utterly contemptible.

Beckham came into LA on his white horse preaching his "I'm here to help raise the profile of the game in America" rhetoric, and we bought it. Because we were desperate. Because we NEEDED him. Because we knew the mistakes that were made in the Pele era, and Beckham was our second chance.

Remember the hype? Remember the arrival? Remember the debut? Remember the greatest game our league has ever produced?

What's happened since then? Nothing.
The man that promised to be the face of soccer in this country, the man who said he'd put the game on his back . . .hasn't done so much as a single in-depth, game-related interview with the American soccer press. He'll sit and talk to Billy Bush, but Ives can't get more than a few generic cliches. You want to find Beckham? Check Access Hollywood, not Fox Soccer Channel. He's more interested in failed reality shows than MLS Cups.

And that word "failed" is where it all went wrong. Turns out, that Beckhamania was only good for 15min, as far as the non-soccer public was concerned. No one cared what underwear he was modeling. No one cared if Posh was releasing a new single. Even in a country like ours, in a city like LA, where the general public doesn't need a particularly good reason to consider you a celebrity . . .Beckham couldn't crack into the A-List. The only people that still loved him were the ones that still wore his old Manchester United shirt. The ones who pay crazy cable bills and wake up at absurd hours to watch the game they love each weekend. The American soccer fans.

Apparently . . .we weren't good enough.

Neither was the $200M.
Neither were the kids he promised to build and operate an academy for.
Neither was the league that rested its hopes for the immediate future on his shoulders.

As American fans, we can't let this happen again. It's time to focus our adoring eyes on those who have come over to MLS and actually made an impact. Like Juan Pablo Angel. Like Guillermo Barros Schellotto. Even that diving troll Blanco and Scumbag #1 Emilio are more worthy of our respect and praise.

So to you, David Beckam . . .from the bottom of my heart, I say: Fuck off, you lying, thieving, scheming, conniving asshole. May the football gods repay you everything you deserve.